Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Panting

I've been running lately. Before you give me a big "so what?" let me tell you just how much I hate to run. I hate it a lot. Why? Oh, so many reasons. I hate the way it makes my legs feel. I hate the way it makes my lungs feel. I hate the way it makes all my jiggly parts feel. I hate how bored I get.

But...I LOVE when it's over.

I love that I can say I just ran two miles. I love the way my leg muscles twitch for at least a half hour afterward. I love knowing that I just made myself do something I hate for the betterment of my body. And I love the water. Oh, do I love the water.

When I'm running my body kicks into overdrive and it needs water to keep going. Water cools me down so I don't overheat. Water slows me down so I can breathe normally again. Water refreshes me so I can look back over those two miles with pleasure. And water puts back into my body everything I just willingly gave out of it.

When I run, I crave water.

Why is it that I feel the effects of my thirst so much more powerfully in my physical need than I do in my spiritual need? Why do I give my body what it needs after a run but I won't do the same for my heart? I would venture to say that in this broken, depraved, troubled world my soul is actually putting in more effort than my body, and yet my body is always first to be tended. Why do I let my spirit go thirsty?

My Spirit needs the Lord every bit as much as my body needs water.

When I'm [pouring my heart into my day] my [soul] kicks into overdrive and it needs [the Lord]. [The Lord] cools me down so I don't [burn out]. [The Lord] slows me down so I can breathe normally again. [The Lord] refreshes me so I can look back over [my day] with pleasure. And [the Lord] puts back into my [soul] everything I just willingly gave out of it.

And yet, I don't crave the Lord.

I find other things to do. I find other things that "need" my attention. I find other things to refresh me - good things, tasty things, but not what I need. Basically, I drink a spiritual Coke.

I want to say with the sons of Korah,

As the deer pants for streams of water
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul longs for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

~Psalm 42:1-2

I am panting daily. Hourly. At this very minute. I want to crave the Lord, but I keep reaching for Coke.