A hand in the darkness

I turned out the light and navigated my way to his little bed, squinting in the darkness, and trying my best to avoid the day’s puzzles and Legos and costumes and fire truck.  As I started the song he had heard a thousand times (literally – 365 x 4), I hovered over him and hung my hand down by my side. He kept his head on the sheets and reached his hand up, grasping mine. We sang the lines together, me holding his chubby, soft hand in my big, dried out one. “Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not…” Neither of us could see where to reach for the other's hand - it was too dark - but we knew where to find it. We had done this before. Every night. For years. Lights out, start our song, hold hands, kiss goodnight.

 

This particular song has always meant a lot to me, but over the last few years, as life has gotten more complicated and trials have become heavier, it has deepened in its significance. God is faithful. God is sure.  God doesn’t shift like a shadow or fail like a person. He is as consistent as the seasons. As the sun, moon, and stars. As the first frost and the 17-year cicadas. Never failing, never changing, never running out of mercies toward me.

 

Nothing ever changes Him.  Nothing ever moves Him. Nothing ever causes Him to alter course or change His mind. 

 

Pardon for sin, and a peace that endureth,

(Though the darkness feels darker than I remembered it being…)

Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide,

(I know He’s near. He has never not been there…)

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,

(I reach for His hand in the pitch black…)

Blessings all mine with ten thousand beside.

(And it’s there - it’s always there – just waiting for me to hold it.)

 

I’m going to tuck my son in again tonight.  I’m going to turn out the light, avoid the obstacles, start our song, and reach out my hand. It won’t matter what kind of day we’ve had. It won’t matter how much I had to discipline him.  It won’t matter if he was distracted or defiant or whiny or just ignored me all day and did his own thing. We'll sing together in the darkness and I'll hold his chubby little hand in mine. I love knowing that, as long as I’m the one to tuck him in, my hand will be there for him when he reaches for it.  

I love that God has given me these moments to show how He is toward me - His hand always ready for me to hold, even in the darkest darkness.

Consistent.  Gentle. Comforting.  Safe. Merciful. Sure. 

Great.

Oh, my God, Thy faithfulness is great, indeed.