A prayer for Hope

Today in church we were told that a young couple in the congregation had lost their baby this week, 7 months into the pregnancy. I can't even begin to fathom the pain in a parent's heart when their child dies.

"a prayer for Hope"
No life inside, no comfort out
Shattered, fragile hearts break
Trembling, dry voices shake
Broken. Our biggest mistake:
Resting our knees on you, not doubt.

Holding to hope, we let go of truth
Life, nothing is sound
Tears, never not found
Joy, “may it abound”
We signed with blood to unseen proof.

Like a “burglar, banker, Father”
Our hearts, pierced through,
strangled, removed.
Now our Hope rests in you,
Please hold her like you love her.

resiliance

Because God has been teaching me so much, and I've been learning so much, and I've been dreaming big dreams, but I sit, and I wait for tomorrow, hoping it'll never really come.

"resiliance"
In the shade of my own tree,
I will fight the good fight
while I lie here a while
with the fruit of my branches
to keep me company.

I will stay here (under my tree)
and watch the river flow
and watch the trees grow
and watch the people go
find trees of their own.

Because my tree is mine
and I am mine
and my fruit is yours
(while my fruit's really mine)

So we'll stay here,
my brother Jonah and I,
and watch.

Because,
when there is shade and despair,
watching is what we do best.

"in a garden of weeds"

when the sun seemed to fade
and all around the silence cried
wilted, shriveled
a head hung (bowed) low
as its beauty, piece by piece,
drifted slowly down

tears can only mimic
the dew mixed with blood
that fell on that parched ground

the sun paid homage
the silence sang praise
to that rose among the thorns

Becoming "Onesimus"

I've been studying the book of Philemon. As I look at it this time around, I'm beginning to understand the impact this story has on my spiritual life. Though it was probably not on Paul's mind when he was trying to help these two men restore their relationship, I suddenly saw a resemblance between the characters in the letter and God, Christ, and myself. I was God's, given a name and a purpose by Him, and I ran so hard just to get away from Him. That's where Christ found me, running and hiding and terrified and angry, and he saved me. Not only did he give me hope, he himself pleaded with God to restore OUR relationship, to take me back as his daughter even though I stole what was rightfully his and denied my purpose and my name. Not only did Paul send Onesimus back to his master (who had every right to torture and kill him) so that they could make amends, but he told Philemon that his slave was finally going to serve his purpose. Onesimus, for the first time in his life, was going to be who he was designed to be.

Onesimus, by the way, means "Useful". He was finally becoming his name.

"Becoming 'Onesimus'"

Here I am
To be my name
Holding nothing
But a letter and my shame
Here I stand
Wanting to be
Everything you have called me

I ran
Through so many lands
To find a way away
No one
Called me “son”
So I looked to the horizon
I cried
I only tried
To free myself from you
I died
So many times
Before I lived
“Anywhere”
He found me there
And showed me how to breathe
He lived
And chose to give
Me part of his own life
I ran
Back through those lands
To meet my brother here

Here I am
To be my name
Holding nothing
But a letter and my shame
Here I stand
Wanting to be
Everything you have called me