I had just finished reading through the book of Hebrews out loud to him. I had decided pretty early in the day that both Pike and I could use some good anchoring to Hope, and that book offers it more than any other I could think of. I started reading mid-morning, and it literally took all day to work our way through it. I took several breaks, of course, for the check-ups and check-ins, and every now and again I would pause to try to explain something that’s a little fuzzy as best I could. We also broke it up with a lot of music throughout the day. I knew he'd need a break from listening to his friend’s mom’s voice drone on and on.
Once we got to Hebrews 10, I had to slow my reading down for the rest of the book - partly to make sure that he and I could both soak in the words, and partly because of my emotion. Every word just seemed so perfect, so fitting, so needed. Hope. Faith. Suffering. Eyes unwaveringly fixed on Christ, who endured his own suffering and now stands beyond it and has anchored our Hope ahead with Him! *sigh* Yes, I cried. I apologized to him for making it weird, but I couldn’t help it…he and I both needed to cling to that Hope and keep our eyes fixed on Christ.
When I finished reading, I thanked God for the hope that Pike and I both have in Christ. I thanked Him for anchoring our hope beyond the veil - a hope that is secure and sure. I prayed that Pike and I would both have the faith to hold on to that hope. I thanked God for using Pike for His glory, and for equipping him for the good works God had for him to do. I thanked God for Pike’s incredible perseverance and how much he has taught, encouraged, and spurred me on.
And now, with just a few minutes left before I knew his family would be home, I decided to give him a break from my voice and put music back on. We had been going back and forth between my music (hymns) and his music all day. It was his turn. I pulled up the Phil Wickham station and sat quietly next to his bed, petting his fuzzy strawberry hair. “God, thank you for loving this precious boy more than any of us ever could. Thank you for being with him, even in the darkest places none of us can go.”
Before that day I had not listened to much Phil Wickham, and I was grateful Pike had introduced me to him. As I sat there resting my hand on his knobby knee, a song came on that I recognized from church. I looked at his sweet, sleepy face and just thanked God for the song. It was perfect. It was everything I had just read and prayed, and it was a voice that was sweet and familiar to him. I stood out of my chair and, keeping one hand on his knee and the other raised up, I closed my eyes and silently mouthed the words that I knew:
Hallelujah, praise the One who set me free
Hallelujah, death has lost its grip on me
You have broken every chain
There's salvation in Your name
Jesus Christ, my living hope
And as I stood there, still one hand on his knee and teary eyes now looking down at his restful face, the next words both broke me and revived me all at once. “Yes! This is it, Pike! This is what Christ has done for you!”
Then came the morning that sealed the promise
Your buried body began to breathe
Out of the silence, the Roaring Lion
Declared the grave has no claim on me
Jesus, Yours is the victory!
The song ended. I wiped my tears and got my weepy face under control. Another nurse came in to check his numbers. Then a knock on the door and a boisterous “Hey Pike!” from Paul. Mama rushed to her boy, big brother and new sis walked to his bed to tell him all the news. His family was home and my time with him was done.
But here I am, one year later. I remember my time with dear Pike so vividly, truly as if it was yesterday. It has forever impacted many areas of my life and heart, and it enriched and deepened my understanding of Hebrews and several songs (hymns and Phil Wickham alike). I don’t understand why I was given such a privilege to spend that day with Pike, but I’m so thankful for the work that God has been able to do in me through our day together.
I know Pike has nothing left to hope for - by God's plan and mercy Pike reached out and touched his Hope that very night. But I am still clinging to the Hope that is anchored ahead of me. I know that Hope is secure, risen from the grave, living and victorious. Hallelujah!
Until I hold that Hope for myself, I will be forever moved by my precious day with Pike. He reminds me to run the race marked out for me and fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith and my anchored, living Hope.
Living Hope by Phil Wickham
How great the chasm that lay between us
How high the mountain I could not climb
In desperation, I turned to heaven
And spoke Your name into the night
Then through the darkness, Your loving kindness
Tore through the shadows of my soul
The work is finished, the end is written
Jesus Christ, my living hope
Who could imagine so great a mercy?
What heart could fathom such boundless grace?
The God of ages stepped down from glory
To wear my sin and bear my shame
The cross has spoken, I am forgiven
The King of kings calls me His own
Beautiful Savior, I'm Yours forever
Jesus Christ, my living hope
Hallelujah, praise the One who set me free
Hallelujah, death has lost its grip on me
You have broken every chain
There's salvation in Your name
Jesus Christ, my living hope
Then came the morning that sealed the promise
Your buried body began to breathe
Out of the silence, the Roaring Lion
Declared the grave has no claim on me
Then came the morning that sealed the promise
Your buried body began to breathe
Out of the silence, the Roaring Lion
Declared the grave has no claim on me
Jesus, Yours is the victory!
Hallelujah, praise the One who set me free
Hallelujah, death has lost its grip on me
You have broken every chain
There's salvation in Your name
Jesus Christ, my living hope
